Are You A Wimpy White Person?

Longtime readers might remember our brief quiz designed to help people detect a wimpy white person. We would hope that most of our readers did not answer “true” for any of those four questions. However, given the pervasiveness of wimpy whites and cultural liberalism, it is inevitable that there is at least a trace of wimpiness present in a few. But fear not, faithful readers! For those of you who received a high wimpy score on the quiz, you’ll have the chance to redeem yourselves in the form of an expanded test. Whether you’ve slacked off in your studies or your previous high wimpy score caused you to engage in critical introspection, brace yourselves for the wimpy white test:

1)    I prefer the great spirit, Buddhism, Hinduism and eastern spirituality to the Lord Jesus Christ: (T/F)

2)    Trees are meant to be lived in and not cut down: (T/F)

3)    The world would be a better place if women ruled it:(T/F)

4)    I think diversity is great as diversity of races equals diversity of perspectives and thought:(T/F)

5)    I believe they should invent a computer that administers electric shocks to abusive online gamers (T/F)

6)    I fantasize about writing a novel where Christian Grey gets whipped by Anastasia Steele (T/F)

7)    I find the squalor, filth, and poverty of south Asia to be spiritually appealing (T/F)

8)    Rachel Maddow is my media idol (T/F)

9)    I believe the Crusaders used Weapons of Mass destruction against the Muslims (T/F)

10) I have a bumper sticker that says, “a human being is not illegal” (T/F)

11) Lisa is my favorite character on The Simpsons (T/F)

12) Hufflepuff is my favorite house in Harry Potter (T/F)

13) Animals can create democracies and monuments if we’d only stop eating them (T/F)

14) Online games like Dota aren’t about winning or team work but exploring the richness of Latino and Russian cultures by inviting them onto the North American servers. (T/F)

15) I think the kingdoms of Gondor and Rohan are too white and should allow the mass immigration of orcs for diversity. (T/F)

So how wimpy are you? Find out by totalling the number of times you checked “True” in the above questionnaire.

0 Ts: The silent majority – Congratulations, you’re a normal heterosexual individual. That automatically makes you an oppressive son of a bitch that is in dire need of sensitivity training.

1-4 Ts: A minor infection – You are normal for the most part but have traces of wimpiness. You need to get away from women a bit more by taking up hiking, swimming, kayaking, or fishing to purge the minor infection.

5-7 Ts: Awakening wimpiness –  You used to be normal or minimally infected until you took  that social science 101 course that opened your eyes to what an oppressive son of a bitch you truly are.

9-11Ts:The wimpiness is strong with this one – You want to build a time machine to go back and shoot your racist and sexist ancestors. The only thing stopping you is the fear of your invention being credited to the evil white race.

 12+ Ts: Women’s studies major: You’re a storm trooper for the Cultural Marxist left. You don’t believe in the Big Bang theory or Genesis; you think the universe emerged out of the goddess’ vagina after she stole God’s sperm and then did away with him. You root for the Persians whenever you watch 300 and the only reason you watch it is because the sight of men dying by the hundreds gets you sexually aroused. You’ve already begun casting for your future TV show: A world without whites.